Unprofessional Office Worker Leans Back In Chair

TENNESSEE—Weary from some unknown activities, computer technician James Masterton lounged sleepily in his chair for most of this morning, a nearby colleague reports. Moving from his slothful stupor only to lazily browse Facebook, the 26-year old Tennessee native succeeded in expending half as much energy as the rest of his team.

Masterton was defiant in the face of his co-workers’ criticism. “I had a really late night, man”, he said before letting out a bellowing yawn that nearby secretarial assistant Cindy Vettel met with a disapproving expression. He refused to be pushed into specifics about the details of his late-night exploits, confirming only that it was “mental”.

It was not the first time that Masterton had clashed with the rest of the office. His attempts the previous month to organise a beer pong tournament in the presentation room were roundly rejected by the management staff.

At press time, Masterton was drawing cats in Microsoft Paint.